Friday, August 19, 2011

Update: I told a friend about Ednos/ana

I can't believe i haven't updated you guys in practically a week! I've been so busy starting school, i have two honors courses this year, and i already had to start writing an essay for English. Anyways, there's a REALLY hot new guy in our class and of course all the girls are already on the prowl. I haven't talked to him yet, but i plan to make him want me by next week. Ok, ok, i'm being way over optimistic, but hey, i might as well, right? I told one of my friends about my little weight loss obsession and this blog, she handled it really well! She was basically just saying that i was skinny already and didn't need to lose weight (SO not true). but then...she almost fucking made me cry. She brings me to her bathroom and says "Ok, stand on the scale." You should've seen my face, i looked like i had just seen a ghost. I refused to step on it, but finally she convinced me. It added 2 pounds because i had all my clothes on and i almost broke down, balling my eyes out and screaming. She stood on it and weighed 126 pounds. It just scared the shit out of me that if i ate enough, i could gain that much. I never want to get over 110 pounds again! She pulled her shirt up and i could see her stomach, and she said "See? I love my body, i feel so sexy. Guys like girls with meat on their bones. If anything, you should gain weight! My body looks good right?" I mean, i wasn't gonna say "Love, you look like you have a little fat on you, if i consider myself fat, i'm pretty sure i consider you fat too." I mean, practically everybody is fat in my eyes! So instead i told her that she was ok, but has a little bit of love handle, which is basically the source of her body's fat, her stomach is alright. Long story short, it was one of the most traumatic things i've ever done. Tomorrow is my mom's birthday and we're going to North Beach for our favorite italian place. It's gonna be pretty fattening. I'm sure you're thinking, "Well at least Sunday will be ok, there's no way your weekend could get worse." Ohhhhh baby, does it ever! On Sunday, 2 of my friends and i are cooking a fancy sunday dinner, were dressing up and everything. The menu? Cheese and prosciutto , ice cream and baked butter-cinnamon apples, spring rolls, and lamb chops with gravy and potatos. I'm SO gaining weight this week.


  1. what your friend did, sucks! hope you're ok, xo.

  2. I hate how people try to change your mind once you decided your not happy with your body that can't be changed but they take it into their own hands and say well I love my body and you should too even though we consider everybody else large and chubby they still insist on making comparisons. I swear next time it happens to me i'm going to be honest and tell the person they infact are fat and i find it revolting and possibly even suggest they cut down on meals. Just Saying :) Glad to hear from you again :D Keep your meals small and limited. You'll lose the weight again in no time!

  3. I've never told anyone about my eating disorder, I'm proud of your bravery to tell a friend! I dislike it when people say that "Guys like girls with meat on their bones" when it's an attempt to convince me that I'm thin, because I'm doing this for myself, not a guy. Good luck this week, stay beautiful! <3