Monday, November 12, 2012
I feel like shit. I've been getting fat and having so much boy trouble. I honestly just can't handle it anymore and i want to die. I rolled on friday night and that just made my depression worse. To make it better, my parents dont even believe im depressed and i have nobody to talk to about it. I'm scared, I'm very scared. Tomorrow I'm taking a couple oxys because i just cant deal with this pain anymore, I need to relax for a bit. I really like Matt, the guy i liked a couple years back, but he stopped talking to me and I don't know why. But I'm sure it's because i'm too ugly, too fat, too boring, and don't deserve him. I never get the guys I want. All i need is for someone to give a fuck! Why doesn't anybody understand or care? he is the only person i know who can relate to my insanity. All I want is him and to be skinny- because those two things will repair me. I never knew what it felt like to be alone and not loved until now and all I want to do is stop the misery.