Friday, October 28, 2011

Best night ever (:

I can't believe it's been like...a week since i've posted! I feel so fat, i did well last week but i've gained weight this week. So much stuff has been going on- it's hard to keep up. I got like 4 shots yesterday. One was for mono, because they aren't sure if i still have it. Apparently that's the reason my spleen is enlarged. Except, until a few weeks ago, i hadn't kissed anyone since last summer...Maybe I've just been hanging with some whores ;)

So I ended up going to Eli's house on Friday. It was AMAZING. So I came in his house (the rents were gone), and he had the lights all low with some shitty old-timer music on. He walked me to the table and had dinner (which he "cooked himself", but we both knew it was Chinese take-out). It was so cute! At the end, he asked me to homecoming, and I basically died. Of course, what's the first thing a horny teenage girl thinks to do? Attack him with my lips, that's what. We ended up in his man cave and we turned on some escape the fate (situations!) to make it hotter. It certainty was. Homecoming is tomorrow (LATE, i know), and i'm superrr excited. I'll tell you how it goes. Plus, afterwards Keira's having her halloween party, so that'll be fun as fuck. I STILL haven't bought my costume yet. I want to be sexy- but not a whore- costume ideas, anyone? I'll post tomorrow if I'm not passed out in Keira's bathroom. (:

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Crazy week!

This week was even busier than the last! I wasn't sure if i'd be able to post tonight just because i kind of broke my space bar and typing is fucking pain.
So the doctors actually came up with a few solutions. Apparently, the reason my finger nails, toenails, and lips turn blue and purple is because of something called rinodes syndrome or something like that. It's "pretty common" among teenage girls. They think the pain in my bones is coming from my hyper mobility (basically just means i'm abnormally flexible, although sadly not in my back).So...i guess that's cool? They're sending me to physical therapy because my arms have always been crooked (overly bendable?) and weak.
Last night there was an accident of some sort outside my house. Us being the nosy neighbors we are, watched the whole thing. We still aren't sure what happened, but we heard the woman scream. It was see how real death is; how fragile our lives are. I'm sure she'll be fine but i can still hear those screams and moans...
KeeHoon started school with me on Monday. He was shocked to realize how early school gets out here. In Korea,most high school students don't go home until about 9 PM! TORTURE! Him and Keira have been flirting a lot, i'm hoping something will happen there.
Oh, and I'm 109 pounds. I ate like a pig last weekend, so it didn't surprise me. AT LEAST i didn't go over 110! I've been slacking a lot...i ate a pretty big amount today. I'll try harder, it's just that school is so fucking busy these days! Plus, i started drivers ed. (Months late due to this really long and confusing deal with my legal name) I should be getting a permit sometime next week, so that's super exciting and terrifying.
Eli invited me over (just me?!) on Saturday and he didn't tell me why...fuck yeah! hoping for something amazing to happen!

Sunday, October 16, 2011

So glad it's a new week.

BUSY BUSY BUSY. UGH. There's always so much to do! But i feel like when I'm gone from this blog for more than 2 days it's because i haven't eaten well like i promised. I've been chowing down like a pig. I had pizza on friday (although it was thincrust), and 2 medium pieces today. Plus i had a roti bun and a korean shaved ice (patbingsoo), plus 4 potstickers. I wouldn't even want to see the total of what i've eaten. I'm so ashamed! I have these phases through this whole ednos thing where as long as i don't see the calories, i sometimes allow myself to eat things I shouldn't.
Even worse, tomorrow I have a rheumatology (sp?) appointment. That's the bone doctor, in case you weren't aware. I've have horrible bone pain in all my limbs since I was 2. The docs always said it was growing pains, but obviously I'm not growing much anymore, yet I still get the pain. Though, not as often as I used to. I'm actually a little excited to see what they think is wrong with me. The only bad part? I have to fucking get weighed. I'm NOT excited. I'm scared I'll be at 115 again and my nightmare will start all over. If I'm not over 110, I'll be happy. But with all the food I've been eating? I doubt it.
My mom never asks me how i feel anymore. Even though i told her i think i have ADHD because: i can't concentrate,  remember anything, school work has been sloppy lately, procrastinate a lot, and it's really hard to not zone people out. My mind runs through like a million things per second! Anyways, i feel like she's pretending it's all ok now. I mean I'm still depressed, still anxious, still get stressed easily, still think i have bipolar tenancies.  I love how parents say stuff like "Oh, tell me anything and we'll find a way to fix the problem." and then they pretend it never happened. They hope it was just a phase.
Parents are dumb like that.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Week of horror is over!

GAH! Where have i been?! i don't even remember the last time i didnt post for 4 freaking days! Before i update you wonderful people, i'd like to let you know that FINALLY got my fat, lazy ass out of bad around 6:30, and was out there freezing my ass of on a jog. (We were basically in a cloud because there was a constant mist. and it was fucking humid, which we never have!)That's right, remember i swore i would start jogging like 3 weeks ago? Finally started on that. Yeah, yeah, im the biggest fucking procrastinator i know. It's a wonder i do so well in school...
I've been really lazy on my food intake. I had a bowl of cereal, some fries (mom brought them home and i caved.sorry.), some leftovers from last night ( Spiced chicken with chickpeas and some couscous), and then a hot pot for dinner today. I made it myself, kind of like shabu shabu except we dont have any of those handy dandy hot plates, so i just made a soup-like thing. I barely ate, i was so proud! I just had like 3 fucking tablespoons of rice or less, some cabbage, 2 mushrooms, green onions, a bit of ground beef, and some noodles. chya! Not too bad, not too bad.
Oh! I ended up finishing all my essays and such, so far i've gotten perfect scores on the ones that i've gotten back.

But now what you really want to hear about: The exchange student from korea!!! His name's KeeHoon and he got here 2 days ago, which was good because Yom Kippur ended on Saturday night and all. So far he's super sweet and nice, a fucking respectful dude. Plus, he's pretty hot. and that's coming from a girl who usually isn't into asian guys. He's got that awesome swooped, typical kpop-style hair. We took him out for Mexican on sunday because he didn't even know what kind of food Mexican was...long story short, he wasn't a fan...Which sort of insulted my mom since she's half hispanic and she's super proud of the food, but she kept her cool. Plus, he speaks English pretty well, like he has an accent and you need to speak a little slower so he can understand, but he's pretty fluent. It's helps that i know some korean :) He actually doesn't start coming to school until monday because he started the exchange student orientation/retreat thing today. 4 days to help explain how things work and to meet other exchange students, they have mini field trips around SanFran everyday this week.. I'm superrrr excited to bring him to school because it'll be a total culture shock!

Anywhoziewhatsits- i oughta hit the sack, maybe even another jog tomorrow!
I promise to catch up on blogs ASAP <33

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Food seems to win every time.

I found a new love today! JUICING. I watched that one documentary about the juice fast and it obviously works for people. Plus, so many girls on here have tried the juice thing and lost weight. So i searched everywhere through the cobwebs of yesteryear and re-discovered my magic bullet! I only used it once because, frankly, its shit. But we had to give our juicer back to the woman who gave it to us...(long story xD)

Anywho, i decided it might be a wonderful idea to have juice everyday for lunch. If i did it too often, the famfam would totally notice and i would end up in countless interrogations, hence, NOT GOOD. I figured it would keep me full and i could get in my fruit and veggies for the day.Maybe it'll only last for a while, but i'm making my dad take me to the market this weekend to get produce. It keeps you so full!!

I didn't do so well on calorie intake. I feel like i ignore this blog when i have bad days like this just because it sucks to admit that food won. WOMAN V. FOOD who will win? most likely food considering this [young] woman has the will power of a fat kid in a candy shop. I had 2 small-medium slices of pizza for lunch, and then made a banana-ice-milk-cinnamon-vanilla-mint shake in the magic bullet, half of a choco pie (behold the only chocolate related thing that i could practically trade a kidney for), some caldo de pollo+ beans+ some arizona green tea. Yeahhhh not the greatest day. I dont even want to weigh myself tomorrow...maybe i wont.

I'm so fucking excited for the exchange student to come!! It just sucks i have so much work because i'll barely have time to get to know him. Anyways, ta ta for now chickies!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Stressed the fuck out!

I've been so fucking busy! I thought once last week was over, i'd have almost no work, but boyyy was i ever wrong! I have an essay to write, a grammar test, a math test, 2 honors projects, and 2 essay question assignments. I really regret taking on so many honors classes...UGH. I swear i have no time for anything anymore! Plus, the exchange student should be in this weekend, so i have to help clean up the guest room and everything. Basically, if i don't post for a few days, you know why ;)
AH! i forgot to thank you all sooo much for reading my blog and keeping up with my life. It's so great to have 50 followers and getting to know you all (still working on it!)...thanks so much, i love you all! <3

Food intake wasn't so great today. I had wayyy too much bread :( I've decided that Friday will be my weigh day from now on since i'm alone at home most of the day on fridays. Being so busy has made me really munchy and careless when choosing what to eat. I'll try harder though! Its just so fucking difficult to watch all the happy people around you loving their food YUM OHHH SO GOOD HEY YOU WANT SOME CHIPS, SOME PIZZA, SOME FUCKING FAT?!

I can stay away, i know i can. i need to get my lazy ass out of bed in the mornings and start jogging. i need to get down to 100 at least! I cant lose sight of my dream, i just cant! Remember that you can do anything if you set your mind to it ladies. Sorry for the uneventful posts but there's just so much going on! I'll make sure to catch up on blogs (and this blog!) by this weekend. Love you girls, you keep me strong!

PS- @ Gabby- Yeah, Jews can't celebrate Halloween (well, you aren't supposed to), instead we dress up in costumes on this holiday called "Purim". [:

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Good or bad news?

Im not really sure, its not good or bad news! As many of you know, i weighed myself today after a month without weighing. The good news? I didnt gain! woohoo!
The bad news? I'm still at 108 xD
Basically, it means my eating habits are bipolar and i starve a lot when i've been bingeing to make up for it. In a way, it's a good thing just because i'm still at where i was a month ago, i still get that fresh start without torturing myself for gaining. im excited to lose weight and to get that body i've always wanted!
This got me thinking... do you think we could lose weight if we actually planned out binges? As many of us know, eating more than usual every once in a while gets metabolisms crankin. Im wondering if i could plan a binge every 2 weeks or so... not only would it boost my metabolism again, but i could also deal with my cravings. Maybe it could help eliminate binges all together because you'd be looking forward to that one day in every 14 that you can pig out. Maybe im wrong and you'd gain weight. Its just a thought! If the rentals werent watching me like hawks and buying me junk, i'd love to try this out on myself as an experiment for you all. To see if it worked or not, you know? I hope you're all doing really well and reaching your goals! I'm here for any of you if you need support :)