Sunday, September 11, 2011

When it rains, it pours.

I've been so depressed today! I literally spent all of today and yesterday crying myself to sleep. I just chained myself in my room, basically. I just feel...unloved. unnoticed. I ate 2 jello cups today (20 cals) and some plain pasta for dinner (50?). I just wasn't hungry after today's crying and the big pig out. 
                                                                                                                                                             Yesterday, my grandfather had his retirement party. He owns a winery up in Napa but didn't want to work so much anymore, so he gave the keys to winery,ceremoniously, to my uncle. Weird because my dad was originally going to inherit it, but he ended up landing CEO of a software company. Being there just made me depressed though. I had to get all fancied up and i just wasn't in the mood to do anything. Plus, i ate way too much...although, no sweets, so thats good. Hadar brought her boyfriend along. Of course, he's perfect, like her.                                             
She pisses me off sometimes. My parents love her the most because she's never doing anything wrong, she's never partying or causing trouble. She just studies and dances all day. It's weird that she's so popular, even though she's not what i would call "cool". It's probably just because she's so pretty and has an amazing body. There's only one girl like that who i know in my grade, my competition. I'm pretty sure she's after Eli and i just don't know if I'm good enough for him :( Maybe he wants somebody prettier, thinner, and apparently, with a shit personality.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sad you're having one of those depressing days. Believe me, I know the feeling all to well.

    That wine-ceremony-thingy sounds... Really interresting. I thought they didn't do that anymore, only what you see in movies and such, you know.

    And about your sister... Sometimes, it really is a wonder why some people are as populare as they are. There's thins really stupid girl in my class, and she's also kind of mean... Everyone loves her! I don't get it?

    Just remember, you can get just as pretty an thin as that girl looking for Eli. But she'll always be shit on the inside, while you're a wonderful person. Often, that's a huge motivation.

    Just stay strong girl!