Age: 15
Height: 5’3?
Weight: 105-108 (not sure until next week!)Dress Size: S usually
Goal Weight: 90-95 pounds
Favorite Diet Food: Pickles and flavored ice cubes <3
Favorite Binge Food: Bread, whether it's sweet or savory. I'm a sucker for pastries. Oh yeah, peanut butter too.
Favorite Exercise: Swimming and dancing. badminton is fun when i have the opportunity.
Where Do You Slip Up: Never during the day, around 8-10 at night.
When Did It Start?
Hating your body: I started noticing the skinny girls in 5th grade. I started hating my body at the end of 8th grade. I always hated my thighs that year, but the tummy was flat. 9th grade started and i HATE my body now.
Hating your body: I started noticing the skinny girls in 5th grade. I started hating my body at the end of 8th grade. I always hated my thighs that year, but the tummy was flat. 9th grade started and i HATE my body now.
Restricting/counting: Freshman year?
Does Anyone Know: Nobody except anyone reading this blog :D
Do You Want Help: I have an amazing ana buddy helping me, that's the only help i need.
How Many Calories Do You Consume a Day: 200-800 (800 is a binge)
What Do You See When You Look In The Mirror: A FAT, ugly, pathetic, lonely teenager.
Does Anyone Know: Nobody except anyone reading this blog :D
Do You Want Help: I have an amazing ana buddy helping me, that's the only help i need.
How Many Calories Do You Consume a Day: 200-800 (800 is a binge)
What Do You See When You Look In The Mirror: A FAT, ugly, pathetic, lonely teenager.
Are You In A Relationship: not since last year...
Are You Depressed: diagnosed..no. Do I feel it... every fucking day. I even saw that my mom searched "how to help your depressed teenager" in my history. I'm not so afraid to show it at home.
Ever Tried To Commit Suicide: thought about it many times.
Ever Been To A Psychologist: Never, and hope it doesnt happen...ever.
Are You Depressed: diagnosed..no. Do I feel it... every fucking day. I even saw that my mom searched "how to help your depressed teenager" in my history. I'm not so afraid to show it at home.
Ever Tried To Commit Suicide: thought about it many times.
Ever Been To A Psychologist: Never, and hope it doesnt happen...ever.
I AM -
[ ] anorexic
[X] ednos
[ ] bulimic
[ ] living off diet pills
[X] hungry
[ ] thirsty
[ ] drinking something
[ ] Under 100lbs ( I WISH!)
[X] starving yourself
[ ] participating in a fast
PEOPLE -
[X] ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic (my mom, practically everyday)
[ ] call me fat (probably in secret)
[X] say I’m skinny
[ ] say I’m ugly
[X] say I’m pretty
[X] spread rumors about me
[ ] force me to eat
[ ] say I eat too much
[ ] wish I’d eat more
[X] don’t know I’m anorexic/bulimic/ednos
I WISH -
[X] I was THIN
[X] I had a better body
[X] I didn’t have to eat
[X] I could control myself
[ ] I was under 110lbs (i am, i hope to keep it that way)
[X] I could avoid food
[X] I could hide what I am
[X] I wasn’t fat
[X] I was pretty
[ ] I could stop being ana/mia then maybe I would be a little more normal
I LOVE -
[ ] feeling hungry
[X] seeing a difference when fasting
[ ] shaking
[ ] being weak
[X] losing weight
[ ] being anorexic/bulimic
[X] green tea
[ ] diet pills
[X] being able to turn down food
[X] feeling good about myself
APPEARANCE -
[X] I am shorter than 5’4.
[X] I think I’m ugly sometimes. (more like all the time)
[ ] I have many scars.
[X] I tan easily.
[X] I wish my hair was a different color.
[ ] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[ ] I have a tattoo.
[X] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[ ] I have/had braces.
[ ] I wear glasses.
[X] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[X] I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger.
[ ] I have more than 2 piercings.
[ ] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[X] I have freckles. (sadly, yes. not like all over my cheeks though. i plan to get them removed or bleached or whatever they do to get rid of them)
FAMILY -
[ ] I’ve sworn at my parents.
[ ] I’ve run away from home. (tried to, many times)
[ ] I’ve been kicked out of the house.
[ ] My biological parents are together.
[ ] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[X] I want to have kids someday.
[ ] I’ve had children.
[ ] I’ve lost a child.
RELATIONSHIPS -
[X] I’m single.
[ ] I’m in a relationship.
[ ] I’m engaged.
[ ] I’m married.
[ ] I’ve gone on a blind date.
[only been in one relationship that wasnt a fling. It was kinda mutual...except i didnt really want to haha] I’ve been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[ my friends...] I miss someone right now.
[X] I have a fear of abandonment.
[ ] I’ve cheated in a relationship.
[ ] I’ve gotten divorced
[X] I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
[ ] I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
[ ] I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
[X a bit of feelings are still there. His jersey...a Jamaican painted cow...long story ] I’ve kept something from a past relationship.
SEXUALITY -
[ ] I’ve had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[ ] I’ve had a crush on a teacher.
[X] I am a cuddler.
[ ] I’ve been kissed in the rain. ( SO CLOSEEEE)
[X] I’ve hugged a stranger.
[X] I have kissed a stranger.
BAD TIMES -
[X] I’ve consumed alcohol.
[ i would, but i cant risk getting caught again. my dads a closet alcoholic.] I regularly drink.
[ ] I can’t swallow pills.
[ ] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[ ] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression at some point.
[X] I shut others out when I’m upset. .
[X] I’m anorexic or bulimic or have EDNOS.
[ ] I’ve slept an entire day when I didn’t need it.
[X] I’ve hurt myself on purpose.
[ ] I’m addicted to self harm.
[X] I’ve woken up crying.
[X] I’ve lost weight.
[X] I’ve gained weight.
[X] My weight holds me back.
[X] Weight consumes me.
[ ] I’m at my thinnest.
[ ] I’m at my biggest.
[so far..but gained a bit yesterday] I’ve lost weight and kept it off.
[X] I’ve lost weight but gained it back.
[X] My weight affects my mood.
[ try not to!] I weigh myself daily.
[X] I am jealous of everyone smaller than me.
[X] I thrive on compliments.
[X] I feel bigger than people who are my size.
[ ] I feel happy when I’m hungry.
[X] I get depressed after I eat.
[X] I’ve skipped a meal.
[ ] I’ve thrown food away.
[ ] I’ve spit food out.
[X] I’ve fasted.
[ ] I’ve taken diet pills.
[X] I’ve used laxatives. (tried milk of magnesia. completely useless, didnt work for a whole day)
[ tried, many times. i lost most of my gag reflex the last time i was sick, damn.] I’ve purged.
[X] I exercise. (been slacking big time!)
[X] I exercise so I can eat.
[X] I work out secretly.
[ ] I work out daily.
[X] I exercise to counteract eating.
[ ] I’ve fainted from exhaustion.
I’VE DONE -
[X] I keep my eating habits a secret.
[X] I have a diet blog.
[X] I look at thinspo.
[X] I collect thinspo.
[X] I’m doing this for me.
[X] I’m doing this for someone.
[X] I’m doing this to prove myself.
So yeah.. thats me.