Monday, November 12, 2012

Nice Seeing You Guys Again

I feel like shit. I've been getting fat and having so much boy trouble. I honestly just can't handle it anymore and i want to die. I rolled on friday night and that just made my depression worse. To make it better, my parents dont even believe im depressed and i have nobody to talk to about it. I'm scared, I'm very scared. Tomorrow I'm taking a couple oxys because i just cant deal with this pain anymore, I need to relax for a bit. I really like Matt, the guy i liked a couple years back, but he stopped talking to me and I don't know why. But I'm sure it's because i'm too ugly, too fat, too boring, and don't deserve him. I never get the guys I want. All i need is for someone to give a fuck! Why doesn't anybody understand or care? he is the only person i know who can relate to my insanity. All I want is him and to be skinny- because those two things will repair me. I never knew what it felt like to be alone and not loved until now and all I want to do is stop the misery.

3 comments:

  1. Please look after yourself hun. It may feel at times we are alone but out there there are people that do care and love you. Its the depression that makes us think otherwise. I hope this feeling goes away, and that you find true happiness, I know what its like parents not understanding depression ... funnily enough I found a good doctor who helped me through it and continues to do so. There are always options such as talking to people who understand other than numbing our pain. Im always here for a chat. I hope you work through this xx pix.

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  2. I'm so sorry babe. Men fucking suck sometimes. Hang in there. There is a perfect guy out there for you. <3

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  3. Hi :) hope you are doing okay.... miss your posts.

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