Saturday, March 17, 2012

It's hard getting back in the swing of things!

I certainly haven't been starving myself recently...
Last night, I had corned beef for dinner. I'm not gonna lie, it was mouth-watering-ly delicious! I also had a shamrock shake from McDonalds for the first time.  It was ok, but thankfully i'm not craving another one.

Something horrible happened last night, though. I had a dream about E, my ex, which just makes me want him THAT much more. I literally haven't talked to him in a year, but I never get over guys easily. Never have never will, it's like a curse. I'm going to my old school's musical tonight with my family- and i hate to say it, but...I wish he'd go. Even if we don't talk, I would just like to see him in person again (haven't for some months now). What I would hate to see is his GF on his arm. That would piss me off! I'm not sure how long they've been together, but i think it's been off and on for a year or more. They were best friends since middle school, and I was always jealous of their connection.
UGH. I hate guys. They just suck. I just remember us liking each other SO much...and then i ruined it...psh typical. Trust me, I've tried locking up those feelings and memories deep inside me, locked in a box. But it never works, no matter how hard I try.

The worst part is...the fact that i'm dating Eli and having these crazy feelings for someone else who probably doesn't care anymore whether I'm dead or alive.

On the bright side, I think I'll just have fruit for dinner. For me, starving is my outlet, it's like cutting myself. Causing that pain and desire for food makes me forget about all the stress and problems in my life... Well, time to go off and write an essay! whoop. ee.

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