First off, i just want to say thank you to all you guys. I was just way too embarrassed to keep the pictures up, im just too fat...you girls are all so amazing and supportive and i just wanted to say THANKS again :)
E (my ex) is in his new girlfriend's profile picture on facebook...with her arms around him and he's holding her arm. WTF. It just pisses me off because he never took pictures like that with me and he never touched me like that! Even worse, Harper fucking liked the picture. Maybe i'm just juvenile, but it's a big deal to me! She's a fucking horrible friend. she knows ill always like him, and yet she goes and basically "likes" there relationship. UGH.
Anyway, i got super inspired last night. I watched a bunch of ana documentaries on youtube. I especially liked the one called "the truth about online anorexia" or something like that. It's hilarious to watch because it's so true. All the host does is complain about how hard it is not eating. We really do take this online world seriously. For me, i know its my only way to get support, and i think we all need that. It's a competitive outlet, honestly. When you see another girl losing weight youre like "FUCK i need to fast tomorrow to catch up"
I planned out a route to jog in my neighborhood. its exactly a mile. im planning to train myself to run again, and maybe itll help tone my legs and abs. Im so excited to try it out! Ill start monday. Since i only have a couple weeks before the weigh in, i need all the exercise i can get! And knowing me, i'll over do it and end up pasing out...but i really dont fucking care :]
What would i do without you all? :) YOU INSPIRE ME, YES, YOU!
It really is a competitve support group. When people post pictures of themselves and they look amazing im like damn it im a fat pig and i work 20x harder. I think here we're all pushing each other but it a good way. Theres no malicious intent with it but sheerly motivation. And what a bitch! I would flip shit. I fucking love this picture :) stay strong dalring. Your workout plan sounds great <3
ReplyDeleteWow, that's a horrible thing for a friend to do! That would send me into a week of black coffees and Diet Cokes, probably.
ReplyDeleteI think the trick for me is total immersion: the more I read about them, the more I surround myself with eating disorder movies and pictures and people, the more extreme I can be while maintaining some sense of sanity or normalcy.