The home life always sucks.

I know i just made a post but i just have to share this with you all.  Only my really close friends know about my dad being an alcoholic...
When he woke up today, i smelled the stench of vodka on his breath. It sickens me.
It makes me wonder why i ever took an interest to drinking. Yet, i still feel i want to drink, like getting caught was best. But he can't admit he's an alcoholic, he hides all of it under his sink, yet we all know it. He didnt care when Scarlett and i got wasted and puked all over my bathroom and my floor. He never even mentioned it, acted like it didn't happen.
Why does he feel the need to drink? When he's sober, he's that parent all your friends love. When he's been drinking...he's a complete mess. He goes crazy. An angry troll all day long. He's hit my mom before...he's crushed my fingers in the door before.
You know how people say that although somebody seems to have it all, there's always something that isnt ok in their life? That's me. I get good grades, im not the ugliest person, i get the stuff i want, im not obese, i have a nice house and nice friends...but i dont have a good home life. That one little flaw brings me down, way down, deeper than i was before.
So i drank tonight, i admit. I took the vodka for myself. I want to smoke the salvia hidden in my make up case. I just want all my problems to go away... :(