Im so excited.

My week of horror (the second one?) is almost over! After labor day, there isn't another eating holiday until Rosh Hashanah at the end of september. I ate more than i intended to today. A small buritto from our favorite mexican market for lunch. i had a steamed pork bun for a snack because the fam went to china town for the day. i had soup for dinner (approx 90 cals) and a tomato salad. Not the best day, but i've had worse.

Tonight was amazing! All my friends and i went to the club. I danced with a bunch of guys, yet the only one i remember dancing with was Eli. Hes so fucking hot!!! I ended up convincing him to go, even though his family is going out of town for labor day tomorrow. im so glad i did, because he's an amazing dancer. we didn't kiss or anything because we've decided to keep it friendly for now. He just broke up with his gf this summer because he moved, which i totally understand. She's all the way in Santa Barbara, which isnt exactly close to San Fran. woohoo! I found out he lives pretty close to me. His parents are really cool with people coming over, so we planned a movie night with all of us at his house on friday. Im so excited! It's a scary movie, so ill just pretend to be scared like everybody else.
Also, on Tuesday i'm visiting my old school because Emie and Harper asked.
I have no idea what to wear! I'll be seeing so many people i havent seen in ages and i need to
look good. I mean, My x might even see me. SCARY. Any advice on what i should wear?
I might post possible outfits tomorrow if i have time...

Stay lovely!

Did you think i was dead?

i feel like i havent talked to you guys in years! what with my school, dance and all my other activities i basically have NO free time. Only late at night, when everyone else has begun to go to bed can i post here. I've been eating really badly, i basically stopped counting calories. BUT, that's all changing tomorrow. I binged like crazy and i wouldn't be surprised if i weigh 115 pounds again tomorrow. I have a plan to kind of "re-cast" my lifestyle. Starting tomorrow, i will weigh myself and i'm going to make a goal weight based on that. It will last a month, im going to try VERY hard to not eat food made outside my house. I'm going back to my diet plan, a salad or something light for lunch, small dinner rations, no bread except once a week. Whatever food i cook will have to be healthy! I am committing to jogging at least 40 minutes a day. I dont know if i can jog straight for that long, but i'll work my ass off. I mean, i had 400 calories today in snacks! Another 100 for frozen yogurt, and who knows how much my main meals were. I'm slipping into old habits and its totally NOT ok. So i'm doing this diet for a month. What's the catch? I won't be weighing myself through this whole thing. I swear, a few of you just cringed. The thing is that i get depressed when i gain, so looking at my digits makes me want to eat away the sadness. I'll be posting often to keep you informed. I hope this works and that i look much better in a month! WE CAN DO THIS <3

Why the hell was there a lizard in my kitchen?

Alright, so today my intake sucked. I had a slice of pizza for lunch and for dinner, a salad, 2 small pieces of cod. But the bad part? My mom made these tortillas fried in oil, and then covered and sprinkled with sugar and cinnamon. I had 2. They arent that big, but still. Anyway, in the afternoon, my younger sister and i made pelmeny (dumplings). The rentals took a day trip to Napa, so we were alone. When we were rolling the dough, i spotted a weird brown thing on on the floor. My sister looked and we both started screaming like banshees and jumped on the table. My older sister, Shai ( I have 3 sisters, just a lil' fact) came running down to the kitchen. We tried to decide what to do, and she suggested to whack it with a pan...Shai's not the brightest bulb in the box, let me tell you. We ended up sweeping it outside, but it was one of the scariest moments of my life. i even cried. I mean, California isn't like Florida, where you wake up to get your morning cup of joe, just to find a mother fucking alligator in your kitchen, sippin' your OJ. Floridians would be like "Oh hey Steve, hows the Mrs.?". We're city girls. We don't have lizards around here.

Ok, so i binged a little.

The rents decided to get pizza for dinner after my sisters asked and there was no way to get out of it. It was delicious, but i'm disappointed in myself for breaking down and having some. Luckily, i didn't have much for lunch. Even worse, mom decided she might take us girls down to monterey for a day out. Every time we go, we always get clam chowder at this famous restaurant on the wharf.  I was like FUCK. Chowder isnt exactly the healthiest and lightest thing to eat, ya know? I guess I'll just cross my fingers and hope she changes her mind! Here's what i had today:

Breakfast: A nectarine? not sure what it was, but it seemed edible. Tasted like shit, oh well. 60 cals?

Lunch: Half a piece of bread with a teaspoon of jelly, teaspoon of the skippy(YUM). 60-80 cals

Dinner: 3 small slices of thin crust pizza. On the bright side, it was thin crust. dont judge me! haha 400 cals or under

A full blown binge for me is about 800-1000 calories, since around 300-400 cals is my daily standard.

Here's a short thinspo:

Nice Legs, right? Hopefully someday...;)

Im Baaaaaaack!

So, the internet died for a whole freaking week. I missed the online community, i must say.
Anyways, after eating today i realized something. Who needs burgers (ohhh In n Out, my most favorite burger. We have a sort of love-hate relationship), when you can have falafel? Seriously, have you ever had one? I realize not everybody has a taste for them, but they are SO full of flavor and fiber. If you happen to have a place who sells the mix or a cafe serving them near you, you should really give it a try. They are much healthier than burgers, especially if theyre oven baked. Throw a few with some sald, tomatoes, cucumbers, hot sauce, and you have a really filling meal for not much calories. It's one of my favorite things <3

I Salute You.

Today wasnt awful, but it wasnt great either. The local Borders is closing down, so i went to get some new stuff. The moms bought 3 cookbooks...fantastic. Actually, sometimes i enjoy looking at cooking shows or books, because half of the appeal of food is the way it looks.A Really delicious curry i found at the middle eastern market for dinner. Kefta meatballs in the curry over rice. I had 3 medium meatballs and in total, maybe a cup of rice. About 150 cals at lunch.. So it was under 800, but im not sure about 500. I didnt do any snacking today, no fruit or bars, so i dont have to worry about that. Tomorrow i think ill make flavored ice cubes, it's my new addiction! Anyways, the point of this is to salute any ana girls who have the willpower to stick to diets, you are literally AMAZING. I will write songs about you. It is SO hard to constantly fight the mental battle. Im pathetic compared to you! In your honor, im going to fight hard not to over-eat tomorrow! I CAN DO THIS!
Ahava אהבה