I'm Broken.

I don't even know where to go from here...
My boyfriend broke up with me on our 2 month anniversary, 2 days ago. We were into each other for 3 months, and we were both so mature and moved very fast. I know this will probably be irrelevant to me once ive healed but he just meant so much to me.
I gave him my virginity, too early. once i did that, i could tell our relationship would crumble, things were much more serious and difficult. Recently I've been depressed because I've lost so many friends, and I feel like i bored him because of that. It was out of the blue, I really wasn't expecting it. He seemed so nonchalant about it, like he never even cared. He claims it's because of his personal shit going on that he's refused to tell me about because "it's too embarrassing" and that he just doesnt think he should be in a relationship right now. While I know this is true, I feel like if you truly care for someone, you would be willing to keep them even through your rough patches.
I was doing so well until I smoked today, that always bring my pain back up to the surface. I constantly choke back my tears. The worst part is i have no closure. I don't know if he was just being honest or if that was his excuse for not liking me anymore. I feel worthless, like nobody will ever love me. This was a serious relationship, we were already talking about senior prom next year and going to concerts in the fall. It was my fault- I allowed us to move way to fast. I'm assuming that he didn't mean to have sex with me and leave because he isn't that kind of guy, but it happened anyway. I guess for him there was nothing left after that. I asked if it was permanent or if he just needed space and he said "Well, maybe once all this shit is over..." So I'm left on a cliffhanger, awesome. I'm trying so hard not to expect him to come running back. I loved him, I didn't know what that meant before but I would do anything to make him happy.

The only bright side to this? I really have no appetite and am getting closer to so many people who I never really valued in my life before.
Sorry for this rant, but I'm just so alone.

Guys are Asses.

That's my mentality for the remainder of this month.

MAKE AUGUST YOUR BITCH!

So i feel like i should be more personal on here, i'll fill you in on my daily life too.

Anyways, last night some friends went to the teen club with me.

While dancing we ran into...my boy toy. I mean, i guess you could call him that.

Let's call him Luke. You know, he's the guy youre friends with

but you like flirting with him and making him want you?

Here's the thing about Luke, he's always saying how much he likes me

and that if we ever got together he'd treat me really well, blah blah blah.

But he's a total douche. I know he'd just want me for sex, and then he'd throw me away.

The dumb thing is he KNOWS i'd never be up to go that far. Like, if i can

barely stand the sight of my naked body, what would HE think?

So we made out or whatever. He's sweet to me, but an ass to most girls.

I guess they really do only want one thing. 

Does he think i'm weak?

That I'll give him what he wants?

HELL NO.

He's just my bitch.